REVIEW: El Presidio Rides North by Domashita Romero

El Presidio Rides North by Domashita Romero
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A fun and playful mm-romance... in a zombie apocalypse and it’s not a parody. Say what? But there it is, and it was refreshing!

The story kicked off with our narrator under a zombie attack, about to die a lonely death, when out of nowhere a guy whacked the zombie and rescued him. Zombies 0, Shovel 1. Naturally, the two men teamed up afterward. Ain’t nobody else but them and the zombies. Not wanting things to get personal and be all sad shit if something bad happened, savior dude nicknamed our narrator “Gaga” and himself “Mercury.”

I completely understood Mercury’s reasons for his nickname policy. Nevertheless, because of his resistance to open up it took me a long while to warm up to him. Gaga, I liked him instantly. I also pitied him, and I must confess I pitied myself for how much I could relate to him. Moving on.

Though it’s a short story, a word count of 19,000, I learned surprisingly a lot about Gaga and Mercury. As the two men journeyed north, they had zombie scenes, fun scenes, and zombie fun scenes. The zombie stripper scene was one of my favorite. I loved how the men never acted dumb and forgot about their zombie apocalypse reality, but at the same time they continued to enjoy life regardless. For them, Hell was a state of mind, not their reality.

If you take away the zombie apocalypse, it’s a simple road trip story of two men getting to know each other, and later developing feelings for each other. Their interaction was riveting. At the end when they finally did the horizontal I went “yes!”

Unfortunately, the post-coital bliss wasn’t as blissful as it could have been. Another opportunity to deepen the intimacy arose but Mercury rebuffed it by continuing with his nickname policy.

Conclusion

I rate El Presidio Rides North 3-stars for I liked it. Despite being one step short of a completely satisfying story, the mm-romance was a great story overall, and it’s free. Recommended if you’re looking for something light and refreshing to read to improve your mood.

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REVIEW: Whitetail Rock by Anne Tenino

Whitetail Rock by Anne Tenino
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Smutty and free. The book appealed to every one of my romance kinks, and the romance was interracial to boot (not something I commonly come across). This book would have been rated higher than 3 stars, but it wasn’t for two big reasons.

First reason: the main character

Nik wasn’t likable as I wanted him to be. I get his issues. I get his anger. But I couldn’t excuse him taking his anger out on undeserving Jurgen. Jurgen had been nothing but nice to Nik. Meanwhile, Nik was rude and selfish to Jurgen. Nik acted as if he was only the person in the whole world who had issues. Bitch, please. Get some perspective. The guy has a loving family, caring friends, and a decent job. I wished one of the characters would have told Nik to get the stick out of his ass and thrown a glass of cold water in his face for good measure.

I didn’t like how Jurgen was the only one of the two to face his issues (Jurgen has a fear of commitment). I was a little baffled at what Jurgen saw in Nik to love because I couldn’t see it. Love is blind, I guess.

Second reason: the ending

The ending was abrupt. The climax occurred at the last minute, and then it was over as quickly as it started. WTF? Where’s my falling action, and that’s not a proper dénouement.

Other reasons

I didn’t take off any points for these reasons but I thought it was weird how Nik was home with his family for a visit yet the reader really never got to meet his family. I didn’t mind that most of the sex scenes were fade-to-black; I did mind that a non-fade to black sex scene took place at Nik’s office at the university during business hours. Ew, the couple should have some respect for other people and found an isolated place to fuck.

What I Did Like

This quote:

“Sam. I've got news for you. Not every childhood trauma can be healed by finding the right penis." [said Nik]

Sam looked devastated. He opened and closed his mouth, eyes wide, then suddenly slumped back against the railing, unable to support himself anymore. "You mean," his voice was barely a whisper. "All those romance novels lied?”

LOL. Hey, a person can dream, can’t they? It was nice to see Nik could be humorous sometimes... in a blue moon. Anyway.

I also liked the college setting, particularly how Nik shared his frustration of being a TA to the reader. He sounded exactly like one of my college instructors.

Conclusion

I rate Whitetail Rock 3-stars for I like it. It could have been better book. It needed a few more rounds of editing. But as it is, the story was good and definitely hooked me into book 2.

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REVIEW: Carniepunk: Parlor Tricks by Jennifer Estep

Carniepunk: Parlor Tricks by Jennifer Estep
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This short story was a delightful interlude in the Elemental Assassin series, one of my favorite-adjacent urban fantasy series. Unlike the many other short stories in the series that are flashbacks and, to be honest, rather dull backstory building, this one took place in the present and had a fair amount of action. It was more than I thought it was going to have. Nothing that happened in the story had an impact on the series at large or would necessitate a read if you’re a follower of the series; it was only a slice of life story of a not-so-retired assassin, the series’ star Gin Blanco.

In this short story, Gin helped her younger cop sister, Bria, search for a lost girl at a transient carnival where the victim was last seen. I liked the story fine up until the bad guys ambushed our heroines and they almost got killed. I would have preferred Gin and Bria to discover the truth and the bad guys through their investigation. Our kickass heroines were lucky the bad guys didn’t kill them immediately. The Evil Gloating was cheesy but I admit it made the following asskicking gratifying.

The asskicking was my favorite part of the story, and I was ecstatic that Gin took no hesitation to magic up and magically whup their asses. Of course, she still used her special knives, her trademark weapon of assassination, but her super magic was what saved the day. I couldn’t believe this short story seemed to display more magic asskicking from Gin than most of the main books. I’ve been hankering for this kind of action because the series is unfaithfully stingy with it. I was happy to receive a good lengthy one in this short story.

In Conclusion

I rate Carniepunk: Parlor Tricks 3-stars for I liked it. This is a short story from the Carniepunk urban fantasy anthology. You can get the individual short story for free as an ebook on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Be advised that half of the ebook is the actual short story, “Parlor Tricks,” and the other half are excerpts of the other short stories offered in Carniepunk anthology. The free short story: good promotion. The excerpts taking up half of the ebook: bad promotion; publishers, don’t do this.

Anyway, if you’re looking for an urban fantasy appetizer as in-between read, this short story comes recommended. It’s simple: search for missing girl. It’s classic: good guys beat bad guys. It’s free.

Goodreads | Amazon

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REVIEW: Plaza Place by Erin Shaw

Plaza Place by Erin Shaw
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The mm-romance was about two silly idiots who were hot for each other but each thought the other was uninterested. It was a nice story but nothing specifically appealed to me and nothing connected with me.

The plot alternated between the two guys, Nate and Jordan, more on Nate than on Jordan. I didn't care for either guy, to be honest. I didn't like how obsessive they were about each other; it made me antsy. It didn't help that the writing felt neurotic overall, which exacerbated my cranky mood.

The smut was hot, but it was heavy on the foreplay/oral sex, which I honestly didn’t care for either. The chapters after the consummation didn't add anything substantial to the plot as they should have and, worse, they ended inappropriately like the end of the story rather than end of a chapter. Seriously, each time I finished the chapter I thought the story was over.

The only part I truly like was in the middle of the story when the office ladies, collectively known as the Coven, decided it was time for their co-workers Nate and Jordan to get together and forced Nate to play accomplice in the ladies’ scheme. Rock on, ladies.

In Conclusion

I rate Plaza Place 2-stars for it was okay. If you like the kink of a hung twink top, this free short story may be your cup of tea, smut-wise.

Goodreads | Read it for Free

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REVIEW: Makeshift Miracle, Book 1 by Jim Zub & Shun Hong Chan

Makeshift Miracle Book 1: The Girl from Nowhere by Jim Zub & Shun Hong Chan
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

+ the plot
The watercolor illustrations are beautiful, but there was no hiding the shallow story. I didn't see a plot. What I saw was a couple of extraordinary events strung together in a way that left me confused. For six chapters, containing 105 pages beginning with chapter one, not much happened. I got more out of the story by reading its summary on Wikipedia. Seriously.

The characters were no better.

+ the protagonist
I liked Colby because I instantly related to him, but I was quickly disappointed when I saw how quickly he came to care for Iris as if she was a good friend when the appropriate action, one more consistent with his demeanor, should have been his being wary of Iris. After all, the girl literally fell from the sky, naked, and when he tried to save her she teleported them both back to his house. Obviously, she's an alien, until the story says otherwise, and an amnesiac one at that. Colby's lack of prudence bugged me.

+ the alien girl
Iris was unbelievable. For someone who has amnesia and strange powers, she was disturbingly calm. There was no effort to discover who she was, where she came from, and whether or not Colby was an ally or an enemy. All she did was pull a woe-is-me act and cook. The relationship between Colby and Iris was surreal.

+ the steampunk guy
Esurio was my least favorite character. He annoyed me greatly. For someone who traveled to another world, he showed great incompetence. He shouldn't have assumed he was in friendly territory. He should have approached other people with caution, or at least adjusted his look so he wouldn't stand out. Does he not know the word 'discretion'? Moreover, why was he talking to himself? I think he was missing some screws in his head.

In Conclusion

I rate Makeshift Miracle, Volume 1 2-stars for it was okay. It would have been a better story if the story's elements were remixed to make a comedy manga. The story would have been stereotypical, but it would have been enjoyable and not confusing.

You can read this volume online for free at the official website. Be advised that the website hasn't been updated for years.

Goodreads | Amazon

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NEWS: 2012 literary drama recap, a selfless boy and nurse, YA freebie, book research unearth big breast mannequins

# 2012: The Year Everyone Lost Their Heads (2012 December 28)

"Grab some popcorn because this will be a long one."

No kidding.

# Smugglivus 2012: The Airing of Grievances (2013 January 3)

"In addition to BLOGGERS KILLING LITERATURE, apparently 2012 marked the demise of BOOKS, PERIOD because of the rise of the ebook."

Gotta love bibliobigots. And now for the happy news to balance out the drama.

# Boy Sends Letters & Money To Cat Rescue Every Year (2013 January 5)

"Within hours, City Kitties received more than $400 in donations, and they are still coming." 

What a selfless kid.

# As Nurse Lay Dying, Offering Herself as Instruction in Caring (2013 January 10)

"But Ms. Keochareon, 59, a 1993 graduate of Holyoke’s nursing program, was offering students something rare: an opportunity not only to examine her, but also to ask anything they wanted about her experience with cancer and dying."

What a bittersweet yet heartwarming story.

---

YA Freebie

Stray by Andrea K. Höst = ya science fiction.

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Tweet of the Day

"I loved researching South Beach for my book. Interesting fact all the mannequins have double d breasts." 

- Kenya Wright

source: twitter

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NEWS: strong female characters, reviewing issues, read faster, yaoi freebie, mojito shoe

# “Why do you write strong female characters?” (2012 December 31)

"The heart of the question implies that if a male character is 'strong' that’s to be expected, because boys and men are strong. Normal. Default. Go about your business."

On the flip side, when I think of "strong male characters," I think of wish-fulfillment and Gary Stus.

# Online Book Reviews: Games People Play (2013 January 6)

"But I admit to extreme naiveté. I knew nothing of the rampant gaming of online book reviews or the bizarre culture of Amazon reviewing."

Yeah... I'm going to keep not reviewing on Amazon.

# Can I Learn to Read Faster? (2013 January 4)

"Another trick often associated with speed reading is skimming the text."

That's the trick I use. Not every word or chapter is golden.

---

Yaoi Freebie

Not Yours, Am I? Volume 1 by Cinnamon Rub

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Picture of the Day

This is a shoe. One odd looking shoe. Click here for more info.

The Mojito Shoe

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NEWS: big yaoi sale & books due date

Bargains

Big Yaoi Sale (21 December 2012, via Mary @ GR) "Starting December 26th and ending December 30th we will be offering one digital title each day for only 99¢!"

From Dreamspinner homepage (December 2012) "Everything in the store will be 25% off from Dec. 20-25. All series will be 20% Dec 26-31!"

Freebies

Glitches = YA sci-fi, short story
The Goddess Hunt = YA paranormal, novella
Measure of Devotion = mm fantasy, novel
Dex in Blue = mm contemporary, novel

Funny of the Day

via Miriam

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REVIEW: Me, Myself and I by Natasha Duncan-Drake

Me, Myself and I by Natasha Duncan-Drake
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

CAUTION: Spoilers

What an awesome premise! Once I discovered the novelette was free, I immediately downloaded and read it. Around 15,500 words, Me, Myself and I was almost everything I hoped for.

Told in 1st PoV from Tristan's side, the novelette began with Tristan attending a party celebrating the completion of his third superhero movie when suddenly a champagne cork hits him in the head, knocking him out. Tristan quickly wakes up and finds himself strapped down and in the world of his superhero movie. Is he Tristan the actor having a dream or is he Devon the supervillain waking up from a breakdown?

Whatever the answer: it's frighteningly crazy.
—(from the blurb)

And awesome!

The only thing I didn't like about the short story was the single sex scene near the ending because its kink didn't appeal to me. Turns out Tristan was in a parallel dimension where later he got kidnapped and fucked by the real Devon. Talk about getting literally screwed by your evil twin.

In spite of its length, I liked the ending. I didn't mind how the story left its ending open for interpretation to whether Tristan's experience was real or a dream. In my mind, there is no doubt to what the answer was.

I rate Me, Myself and I 3-stars for I liked it. I greatly look forward to the sequel.

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REVIEW: First Kiss by J. Tomas

First Kiss by J. Tomas
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

CAUTION: Spoilers

First Kiss is about shy student Noah pinning for hot jock Doug. Reading the blurb, I got the impression that the short story (very short) was going to be about a gay boy having an unrequited, unattainable love for a straight. Fortunately, I was pleasantly surprised by the WAFF of the story.

The writing was very straightforward, the kind I would love to read in all of my books. The story is in first POV, specifically Noah. This very apt for the story because I could feel everything that Noah feels. The author shows great skill for forming the emotional map of her main character.

If I had to come up with a negative criticism about the story, it would be about jock Doug secretly confessing to cheerleader Melissa about his sexuality. It's not like they were close friends even though they ran in the same circle, i.e. the cool crowd. It's not very realistic to sneak out of the closet to a stranger who may potentially ruin your social life. Thankfully, Melissa wasn't a stereotypical uppity evil cheerleader.

Anyway, I love all the characters. I love Noah because even though he was shy, he wasn't a doormat and stood up to Melissa. I love Doug for taking a chance on love. I love Melissa, even her bitchy ways, for scheming to get Doug and Noah together.

I rate First Kiss 4 stars for really-liked-it.

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REVIEW: His Slave by J-Time

His Slave by J-Time
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

CAUTON: Spoilers

For the first and second chapters, I was ecstatic for the story to begin. I was expecting with glee for Trent to defy his circumstance and the Prince and escape from slavery. Sadly that never happened. The chapters were mostly about Trent and his slow, really slow blossoming love for the Prince despite the slavery issue. In short, Stockholm Syndrome.

We never learn why it was a tradition for the Prince on his 20th birthday to own his very first slave. Nor do we learn why all the boys chosen for the slave selection were happy to become the Prince's slave (except for Trent of course). WTF? Were all the boys except Trent crazy? My guess is that the tradition allows the Prince to have his first sexual experience without the danger of illegitimate pregnancy. But then why slavery? Wouldn't it just be easier, cheaper, and more merciful to pay some boy for a quick ride in the shack than to pay his his family with land and title to give up their son for slavery? It was never explained why Scott would have a better reputation if he chose a "challenging" slave or how Trent got into the slave selection mess.

I became disgusted with Trent when he deluded himself that he'll still have Scott's love after Scott's marriage. Even if that was so, Scott's future wife will definitely do something about it. And when Trent asked Scott not to marry, did Trent not realize Scott was a Prince and needed an heir? Though good for Trent for confronting Scott on the marriage issue, it was possibly the only sensible thing I thought Trent did. At the end when Trent and Scott reunited, Scott's wedding to a princess would take place the very next day! How is it a romance when one of the lover is marrying someone else? Nothing was really resolved. Even if Scott was King and pish-posh the wedding, he still needed an heir!

There was absolutely no world building in this story whatsoever. It was entirely centered on Trent and Prince Scott in Prince Scott's room. Seriously, just the two of them in Scott's room. No character development either. All I know is Trent is something-teen slave with greedy SOB for parents and Scott is a 20 years old Prince with princely duties. There was no mention of their history, their likes, their dislikes, nothing. All I got was that Trent didn't like being a slave (no duh!) and Trent didn't like being a prince despite the privileges.

The pacing was slow. I had a hard time time staying interested. There was no action in the story. No hot erotica. It was all napping, eating, and bathing. Even the raping in the first few chapters seemed tamed. The story lacked energy.

Also, who was Sebastian anyway? The King's adviser? The Prince's adviser? The minister?

The only good thing I can say about this story was that it wasn't badly edited.

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REVIEW: Spoils of War by Aleksandr Voinov & Raev Gray

Spoils of War by Aleksandr Voinov and Raev Gray
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I didn't like this short story because I couldn't find myself to care for Achilleus. I see alot of talk about how he really love Patroklos, even to forsake Ares's offer of granting Achilleus a godhead. Good for Achilleus for sticking with his true love, but I never emotionally connected to this love. For a mm-romance between two characters, one of them—Patroklos—was only mentioned by name and never seen in a scene.

Another thing about Achilleus I didn't like is his wanting to kill and enslave every Ilion, including women and children. I read stories with hateful protagonists, but they always have a reason for their hate, even if such a reason is simply sociopathy. But considering Achilleus actually loves someone, sociopathy isn't that reason. I don't know, it just seem to be anti-characteristic of an honorable warrior. Maybe I'm just reading in it too much and that Achilleus was just saying that to placate Ares. *shrug*

I didn't really understand why Ares would offer Achilleus a godhead. Wouldn't making more gods make more competition? Especially among worshippers, which would lead to religious wars. I know, I know, Ares, god of *wars*. But even god of wars need worshippers or else there's no point in being a god. You can't be a leader without followers, a god without worshippers.

I believe if the short story had a scene where Achilleus and Patroklos reuniting and then making love, then I would have rated the story higher.

Goodreads | Smashwords

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